And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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