just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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