I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this boner is exhausting
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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