Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
