During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she told me i tasted like america
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
