Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
