So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
