This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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