their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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