Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
