Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
