I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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