just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
