Well douche your snatch and let's go!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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