So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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