yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
