Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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