After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
