May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
why do cheetos always look like penises
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
