Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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