So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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