You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
