Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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