just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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