Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
