My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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