I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
