ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
