'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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