woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
