doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
