If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
