Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
