Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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