I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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