did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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