I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
