Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize