I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
