my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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