i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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