I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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