first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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