Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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