that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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