you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just pee around me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
