talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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