Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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