I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
