When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
