no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
