I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
