Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
