my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You smell like stripper and shame
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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