can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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