I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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