I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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