god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
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His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
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i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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