well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
