the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
