flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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