Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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