No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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