in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
