do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
