I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
