I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
