he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
