quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
