Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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